How to Forgive When it Seems Impossible

It is challenging to have the willingness to forgive one that wronged you. When my sister was murdered in cold blood, I carried unimaginable grief, bitterness, and anger. On the day I was to face her killer in court, I felt overwhelmed by those emotions. But just before I entered the courtroom, something extraordinary happened—God changed my heart. Instead of harboring hatred, I was able to forgive the man who took my sister’s life. Not only that, but I felt pity for him. That forgiveness wasn’t my own doing; it was God’s grace working through me.

Forgiveness, especially when it feels impossible, is an act of God’s power and love in our lives. On our own, it’s beyond our capability. But with God, we can do things we never thought possible, including forgiving the unforgivable. Jesus commands us in Matthew 6:14-15, “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” This shows that forgiveness is not just a suggestion; it’s essential to our relationship with God.

In moments when it feels impossible to forgive, we must remember what Jesus did on the cross. As He was being crucified, an innocent man bearing the weight of humanity’s sins, He said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing” (Luke 23:34). If Jesus could forgive His killers, how much more are we called to extend that same grace?

Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting or excusing the wrong. It doesn’t mean the hurt instantly disappears. But forgiveness is about releasing ourselves from the prison of bitterness and allowing God to bring healing. Ephesians 4:31-32 says, “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger… Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Forgiveness is the path to freedom—not just for the person we’re forgiving, but for ourselves.

In my own life, God showed me that holding onto anger only deepens the wound, but releasing it through forgiveness opens the door for healing. It’s not easy, but it’s essential.

For those who are struggling to forgive, I encourage you to take it to God. Pray for strength beyond your own. Ask Him to change your heart like He did mine, and trust that He will bring you to a place of peace. The journey may be hard, but with God, it’s possible.